The Infinite Loops: The Shenanigans of the Mythos
by The Unknown1
Summary: Part of the Infinite Loops Series! The job of the Admins is to keep Yggdrasil, the World Tree that runs reality, running to the best of their ability. It doesn't help when Cthulhu and his friends decide to hack everything for their own amusement. Amusing shenanigans! Surprising Heartwarming! Mind-bleaching horror! It's all here and more!


Attention to all who read this: This is part of the Infinite Loops, and should only be read as part of that universe. Don't know what the Infinite Loops are? Well, you're in luck! Just go to TV Tropes, and search for "The Infinite Loops", and be prepared to be have a very good time.

1.1

Space Invaders, as safe-loops go, was generally the same each time. A small set of aliens shot at whatever Looper had become the ship this go-round, getting faster the less of them there were. The Looper shot back with his or her own ship. The aliens might change a bit, depending on who was Looping in at the time, but there wasn't anything that was too surprising.

So when the beasts are no longer pixelated crab invaders, but instead flying polyps and insects from the dead planet Shaggai, that could be considered a cause for concern. When it happened five Loops in a row, with a different Looper each time, that could only be one thing.

Xenu swore as he worked at his terminal, running what could best be described as "multiversal anti-virus software" while typing commands. He then took one look at a print-out, and swore some more.

"Do they dare challenge me, Administrator Xenu, for control of my loop?" Xenu's voice boomed out to no-one in particular, mostly born out of frustration. "Do they dare risk causing an Incident most unfavorable to them?"

"Do they have you channeling your inner Zeus?" a voice asked behind him. Xenu turned to face the voice, belonging to the Olympian Hephaestus.

"My apologies, Administrator. I am just relaying my displeasure at the intrusion of one of my safe-loops."

Hephaestus waved a hand. "No problems. We all have to deal with them eventually. And from what I see, this is some relevantly benign stuff. Nothing that could shatter anyone's mind or crash a Loop." He chuckled a bit as he looked at the terminal. "In fact, this is kind of juvenile. You might want to take a look."

Xenu turned back to his terminals, and saw that the poylps had formed a few words out with their bodies. _Cthylla rules, Xenu drools._

"SON OF A..."

"I so wish I could see his face right now." Cthylla laughed, doubled over in laughter. "He's gotta be so pissed!"

Cthulhu, High Priest of the Great Old Ones, The Dead but Dreaming, one of the Lovecraftian Hackers, and Cthylla's father, put a claw on his daughter's shoulder. "I'm happy for you, 'ylla. It's good to see you getting the hang of it."

"Think I'll ever be as good as you, dad?"

Cthulhu gave what could be considered a smile (it's kind of hard to tell sometimes.) as he looked down at Cthylla. "Honestly, I think you could beat me at this someday." An audible squee was heard as Cthylla beamed at the praise. "But for now, I say let's go get some ice cream."

* * *

><p>1.2<p>

_All along the eastern shore_

_Put your circuits in the sea_

Hastur downed another shot of Captain Morgan, and looked at a nearby young woman, who was currently in the middle of clawing her eyes out in a last-ditch effort to stay sane. While he currently wished he could do the same, a King must remain composed most of the time, even when dealing with what was happening in the middle of the dance floor.

He looked out among what was left of the Chaos Theater in the Scott Pilgrim universe, and saw that every non-Lovecraftian being was either dead of horror, in the middle of dying of horror, or had gone irrecoverably insane from horror. A second look told him that the Lovcraftian beings were not doing so well either.

_This is what the world is for_

_Making electricity_

He spotted Yig crying into his mug, and knowing Yig, that took some work to do. Nyarlathotep had gotten himself as wasted as possible, only able to mutter something about some "Fluttershy" creature. The horror on Cthulhu's face told him all he needed to know, as all he could do was stare at the abomination on the dance floor. Hastur sighed, and looked over at what had caused all this.

_You can feel it in your mind_

_Oh you can do it all the time_

On the dance floor was Yog-Sothoth, currently in his "Lurker at the Threshold" form he liked to use, along with one of those white dance suits from "Saturday Night Fever". And he was... dancing was the wrong word for it. Acts of anathema while flailing around like being shocked was currently the best way to describe it. And Yog-Sothoth ignored all of the dying around him as he let the groove take him to new acts of horrible dancing. Hastur put his face into his hands and sighed.

_Plug it in and change the world_

_You are my electric girl._

"And this is why we can't take you anywhere." was all the King in Yellow said to himself as Yog-Sothoth danced obliviously to the music. At least nobody else was watching this...

* * *

><p>1.3<p>

"Mommy mommy look what I did!"

Shub-Niggurath looked on as one of her children touched a nearby rose. The rose suddenly tried to be a rose, a Mega Buster, and a marching band all at once, holding it for a brief microsecond before imploding in a puff of logic. The child flickered, glitched in and out of reality, and smiled at her mother.

"That looks lovely, son." Shub Niggurath, The Mother of the Thousand Young, The Lord of the Wood, and "Shubby" to her friends, smiled, and got up from her seat and walked over to where the blooming virus/child was trying to make another rose become the Springfield Isotopes, with mixed results. "You're really coming along." Shub comber her hand through the hair-like appendages on his head. "Now, go back inside, Heartbleed. It's time for dinner."

"But Mom..."

"If you don't go soon, Missingno. and Zero Day may get all the dessert first~"

"Can't let that happen!" Heartbleed ran/swam/teleported towards the kitchen, whooping in joy and images of homemade brownies, his mother looking on with a smile at first. While Heartbleed was indeed a virus to the servers of Yggdrasil, he was also a creature that needed to be fed, sheltered, loved, and protected. And there was no other joy quite like this to Shub-Niggurath.

"Mom, Zero Day pushed me!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"MOM! Heartbleed phased out my pants!"

Shub sighed, a smile on her face, as she went to deal with the latest sibling spat that needed her attention...

* * *

><p>1.4<p>

Actors will do almost anything to be famous. This was easily a multiversal constant that could be counted on, and in some cases, exploited. Create a sex tape for notoriety? Sure. Star in horribly written Z-list movies? As long as it got your name out. Star in a stage play that had driven the last cast mad with insanity? Hey, if you could pull it off, you'd be a legend! At least, that's what this last bunch had been convinced of, when prodded by a Looper, to try to star in _The King In Yellow_.

Well, it was a bit different that theirs was a dubstep-infused version with flashing neon lights, but it worked all the same: The actors and actresses were currently going mad as their very beings were being taken over by viruses and glitches worming their way through them, taking over their very being bit by bit, leaving only their senses available to them. But there bodies now danced to a different tune, the things that inhabited them now only listening to his beat.

As one, they rose, dancing and gyrating. Not horrible gyrating, like Yog-Sothoth's "dancing" or elegant dancing like a ballerina. This was slow. Controlled. In time with the high and the lows. They chanted one name, over and over, hoping he would hear them: Hastur.

And hear them he did. The King always loved the sound of his name, appearing from ways unknown to enter the DJ's booth that accompanied this version of the play. Hastur smirked as he prepared his set, planning to let the music his new subjects heard in their beings into the world at large...

"Hey Dad!" Cthylla said, walking into her father's "office". "Didya see?"

Cthulhu, currently working on one of his projects involving dreamwalking, looked away from the computer screen. "See what, darling?"

"It's all over Shoggoth-Chan! Uncle Hastur made a hot new track!"

Cthulhu frowned at that revelation, wondering what the hell his brother had done now. He'd probably gotten some poor dumb group to recreate his play to the end. What they didn't know what that allowed a link between Carcosa and the Loop, allowing Hastur's "subjects", mainly viruses and glitches, to take over near the area of the play. While Hastur was smart enough to not do this to anyone with the potential to Loop (the wrath of the Admins would have been very swift if THAT happened), anybody else was fair game for him. _Well, it could have been worse_, Cthulhu thought. _At least it wasn't 'Massa_ _di Requiem par Shuggay'._

Cthulhu logged into Shoggoth-Chan, looking at the new posts and finding one by one DJ Hali, which was one of Hastur's account name. And sure enough, the post contained a music file named "Wub Scream Investigations: Miami". That brought a sigh, and the need to check if Horatio Cane was Looping or not, along with needing to talk to Hastur soon.

"Hey, did you see his earlier post? How he got some Looper to make the Unspeakable Oath?"

THAT got Cthulhu's attention_. _WHY in the name of Derelth would he do that? Was he TRYING to get an admin angry at him? Cthulhu rubbed the temples of his head, deciding he needed to talk to Hastur REAL soon...

* * *

><p>1.5<p>

Chuck Cunningham could feel the burning of his flesh as he was engulfed in a stream of fire, the horrible smell of barbequed human, and the agonizing pain he was in. For most people, Looping or not, this was not a desired outcome.

But Chuck Cunningham was not most people. He actually enjoyed it. Sure, it hurt. It hurt a lot. And that was the idea. The fact that he was in pain at all meant he actually existed. And to Chuck, that was all that mattered.

He held up one of his arms that was currently a burned messed, and watched as his muscles and flesh started to regenerate back into a recognizable limb again. This process hurt just as much as being burned had, but that was alright. It just meant a reminder that he was alive.

_Chuck Cunningham. Your service is required._

Ah, that voice. That horrible yet wonderful voice that pulled him out of oblivion. Of course, it came at a cost of eternal servitude, but that was just small potatoes next to his gifts.

_Give me a sec, boss. Fightin' a Pyro here._

A dark chuckle could be heard.

_I can wait. Fight on._

Chuck smiled, as a basketball formed in his hands. Escaping his lips was a small little ditty he remembered...

_One o'clock, Two o'clock, Three o'clock rock..._

As Chuck aimed his basketball at the same time the Pyro readed his/her/it's weapon, he knew it was a great day to be alive.

* * *

><p>1.6<p>

_click click click click click_

'Why don't you give Grandma a big hug?"

The six-year old recoiled in terror from what had once been his kindly grandmother. Well, she still was his grandmother, but the fact that her flesh flowed from her body and connected to the river of sinew, muscle, blue hair, and cookies did nothing to convince him of the fact. Even when she hugged him tightly in her embrace, all he wanted to do was escape from someone who had once brought him his favorite chocolate chip cookies from where she worked. The child could only struggle in futility as the kind elderly lady flowed back into the highway made of the earthly remains of what was now _other_.

_click click click click_

There was nowhere people could go. The keening intellect of the Grandmatriarchs had prepared all too well for this day, laying its foundation in forcing everything to revolve around one thing: cookies. Economies, lives, history, even the laws of reality had bent itself to making and eating this one thing. All were subservient to the cookie, and to the Grandmas, the kind ladies who baked them. Unknowingly feeding them their power to become more than mortal.

_click click click click click click_

This happened every time a Loop took place in the universe. No exception. It might take more or less time, depending on who looped in, but the Grandmapocalypse _always _happened. The eldritch plan always came to fruition as the Grandmatriarchs took command of reality itself. But they were always undone by the ending of the Loop, resetting everything and undoing the planning of them, keeping them contained to one universe.

Until _He _came

_click_

And as the ribbons of fleshed spanned the earth and took over, they gathered towards a single creature, a bloated and obese man with no head. Mouths on his hand spoke truths of horror as the Grandmatriarchs came, thanking them for his gifts. The gifts of remembrance, to brings their plans and cookies to other universes, to never forgot their conquests, and to bring the Grandmapocalypse to the Mulitverse.

And as Y'Golonac, God of Depravity and Perversion, basked in the glow of thanks and admiration at yet once again defying the Admins of Yggdrasil, he could hear the whispers of a mantra that would drown worlds. Two simple words that would brings Loopers to their knees and drive Anchors into new bouts of insanity

_We Rise_

* * *

><p>1.7<p>

Cthulhu leaned back into his chair with a smile that could only be compared to the feline devouring a avian. When the Doctor Who loops had _finally_ been started, a lot of processing power that had originally been needed was now freed up for other uses in fixing the multiverse. Even the Admins probably didn't know how much. Which made it easy to divert a little of it for themselves.

Of course, one could not take too much, or Hephaestus might notice. But enough to power a few projects he had in mind, plus a couple of things for Yog-Sothoth to create things in. There was even enough power to make a new playground for the Thousand Young. (Glitch-proof, of course. Zero Day kept going through swings like nothing.)

Cthulhu stood out of his chair and went to grab his coat. He didn't dare risk spreading the news on Soggoth-Chan (the Admins DID keep track of it), and that meant going in person. But hey, he needed to meet with some of them anyways to discuss the day's events. And besides, a computer was a lousy friend to have at a pub anyways...

* * *

><p>1.1: Father-Daughter bonding time!<p>

1.2: "If you think God moves in mysterious ways, you've never seen Yog-Sothoth take the dance floor."

1.3: The Mother of a Thousand Young, acting like an actual mother…

1.4: Wub

1.5: There's no mention of the Mythos! What is this? (That's for me to know, and you to find out.)

1.6: You will never look at cookies or grandmothers the same again after playing Cookie Clicker.

1.7: The trick is not to get greedy with how much you take.


End file.
